Not with a bang but a whimper

This is the way the blogs begin.

Not with a bang but a whimper.

I'm really good at whimpering.

That's just one of the many reasons why you might consider reading my blog. Maybe you're a dog-lover, but your pup's asleep and you need a comforting fix of late-night whimpering. Maybe you're an egoist who reaffirms your self-worth against the whiny noises of the masses. Perhaps an evolutionary biologist writing a paper on why mammals developed the whimpering response? Welcome. There will be lots for you here.

But one thing's for sure - TS Elliot fans should go away! For one, I only accidentally quoted him. For two, who is actually a TS Elliot fan these days? SO bourgeois.

Here are the things I AM fan of:

1. music and obsolete

methods of obtaining music, like record stores

2. clothing and the cheapest possible method of acquiring the latest fashions

3. complaining about how difficult it is to be tall, while secretly reveling in my tall-ity

4. men, especially new men, and super-especially tall, new men

5. the city: the big apple, of brotherly love, windy, foggy, music, yours, mine, any

6. sports - this is mostly derivative of number 4.

7. diet mountain dew

8. life: you know, rainbows, puppies, the beatles, ice cream, babies, the beach, my amazing collection of friends and my super-supportive, loving family.

And that is really why this blog is whimpering forth. Lately, I've been forgetting about how good number eight can be. I promise that there will be a lot of hate in this blog. Without even thinking about it, I just know there there will be rageaholic blogs directed towards things like auto-formatted numbered lists in Microsoft Word, the area of our bodies my sister and I call the"assthigh," and Dunkin' Donuts diet saboteurs who mistake cream for skim milk and give me two donuts instead of one. Stop trying to be nice to me!!! You're ruining me, Dunkin' Donuts man!

Ok, settle down, me. So as I was saying, yes. Lots of hate and rage here, but in the end, this blog will really just be a way of getting through all the Mr. Yuck stuff out there to get to My Little Pony land. The land of happiness where you are just ok with being whatever version of you that happens to exist today. And where you can occasionally braid something.