Bikini Lime Pie

Ahhhh...the Florida Keys.  What do they bring to mind?

The Key West Hemingway Fest

Maybe Hemingway.
Bang!

Maybe hurricanes.
Woosh!

Sexy, Delicious Murder

Maybe a classic film noir.
Bang Bang!


Maybe delicious key lime pie.
Mmmmmm.....

I'm trying to think more of the bangs and less of the pie because my friend is getting married in Key West this May, and I want to look as smoking as the gun in Humphrey Bogart's hand.

But dieting is hard, you guys!

I mean, people do some crazy things to motivate themselves.

Who's got two thumbs and a rockin' american bod?

Don't munch on me.

For instance, one of my friends is on the Sarah Palin Diet.  (No- that doesn't mean he can only eat the caribou he kills himself.)  He's written a big check to whatever election fund Sarah Palin's camp has created.  If he doesn't meet his weight loss goal, he HAS to mail that check and take a reprehensible part in the degradation of everything good.

Well I need my own external motivation - something that will hurt no one but myself if I fail.  And that is why I'm vowing to post a picture of myself in a bikini on May 13.  You heard it here first, folks.

On May 13, this blog will have either a slamming or sickening photo of me in a bikini.

This is the actual bikini!

Pretty sure all these women
 have thousands of  babies.

Cause really, what it comes down to is that those contestants on The Biggest Loser are two steps ahead of me.  Most of them are losing weight for their families.  So that they can be there when their daughters get married, so that they can play with their grandchildren.

Well I wanna be there when my daughter gets married!  I want to play with my grandchildren, too. But shit!  First I have to meet a man and have that daughter.

I'll miss you!

And to do that, maybe I need to get skinny so I can feel confident and be more myself.

And to do that -- no more key lime pie for me.

Care to share what you're doing to drop the pounds?